We’re greeted and asked if we prefer a table, the bar or the lounge (with a what’s behind door #2 sweep of the hand). Our attention is drawn to a space framed by a gazillion yards of floor-to-ceiling sheer white drapery enclosing a softly lit recess of minimalist white couches and low cocktail tables.

Suddenly, I have two visuals in my head;  (1) a salon full of artfully arranged patrons in wa-a-a-y too much eye makeup (and that’s the men) OD-ing on peeled grapes and quail eggs; or (2) the waiting room of an exclusive high-class whorehouse. I hear the owner was aiming to conjure up a SoBe vibe (South Beach- Miami to the uncool). Aiming? Succeeding!

The bar’s visual impact was touted by a friend before our first visit (as in, “you won’t believe this fucking bar. It’s gi-normous!”).  Size does matter, but in a bar? It’s floor-to-ceiling big with lots of flash, but it’s’ largely style over substance, but we are diggin’ the style, big time. There’s ample seating at this impressively stocked arsenal of mood alteration with its own tome-sized menu of over 100 wines (no, really!), martinis ($8-12), 21 champagnes (mostly $10) and cocktails.

Ah, the menu … divided into tapas ($6-14), bodega plates ($8-17) and entrees ($19-28). The differences get blurry. These days tapas are as woefully confusing as bisexuals. Some eateries are listing tapas as anything from squeeze-cheese on a saltine to a side of beef. According to food folklore, tapas were small enough to sit on top of a wine glass to keep the flies out. At Bodega, a tapa or two would satisfy most appetites for dinner.

Our faves are the Heirloom Tomato Caprese (fairly fabulous); Diver Scallops with Turtle Bean and Corn Salad (fully fabulous); and Stuffed Quail with Truffled Cream Corn (Food Fairy fabulous). We requested the miso-plum vinaigrette to sub for Maytag bleu cheese and loved the lightness it brought to the Romaine Wedge with Apple Wood Bacon.

Roasted Bay of Fundy Salmon was a fine choice with a great ginger honey sauce and the Carne Asada Hanger Steak fully satisfies if you like your chimichurri with a healthy jolt. The intense spiciness of the Tagine Chicken Breast with Preserved lemons was overwhelming. On another visit we tried a special of Lobster Mac ‘n Cheese which was incredibly rich (I think I felt a major artery slam shut) but light on seashore flavor.

Other specials were described by our server, Mike, an accommodating cutie. A tempting 14 oz. Kobe strip steak was featured one night with no mention of price until we asked  - $42. Yikes! If prices aren’t mentioned for specials, ask for them.  Back in the day, restaurant specials were creative choices at attractive prices, but today that’s rarely the case.

Try Bodega, a very sophisticated retreat in the village of T-shirts and flip-flops. Fabulous feature:  the kitchen is open until midnight with tapas/bar service until 2:30 a.m.

www.bodegaoncoventry.com for copious details.

 — Mark Mackert is The Independent’s resident “food fairie”.